Why Therapist Training on Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) is Crucial: Insights from Thought Leaders and Research

In an evolving society where diverse relationship structures are increasingly embraced, consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and polyamory are gaining recognition. However, despite this growing visibility, mental health professionals often find themselves unprepared to address the unique needs and challenges associated with these relationship dynamics. As highlighted in recent research, including a Psychology Today article by Dr. Heath Schechinger, this lack of preparedness, combined with lingering stigma, can lead to harmful outcomes for CNM clients. Therapists who are untrained in CNM may inadvertently reinforce biases, leaving clients feeling misunderstood and unsupported.

Dr. Heath Schechinger, co-chair of the APA Division 44 Consensual Non-Monogamy Task Force, has been a leading advocate for educating mental health professionals on how to approach CNM relationships. This article delves into why training on CNM is essential for therapists and how programs like Empowering Pathways offer practical solutions to bridge the current knowledge gap, ultimately providing more inclusive, affirming care.

Addressing the Stigma Surrounding CNM in Therapy

Despite growing awareness of CNM, therapists still grapple with deep-rooted biases. Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a prominent researcher in sexual health, highlights this issue in his blog, noting that nearly 20% of individuals in CNM relationships report that their therapists lack sufficient knowledge of non-monogamous dynamics. This gap often forces clients to educate their therapists, flipping the traditional therapeutic model on its head.

A significant concern among experts like Lehmiller is the assumption that non-monogamous relationships are inherently problematic. This assumption can lead to therapists diagnosing relational distress when the real issue may lie elsewhere, or worse, framing the relationship structure itself as the problem. Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door, echoes this sentiment, explaining that CNM individuals often encounter therapists who dismiss their relationships as dysfunctional. This reinforces harmful stereotypes, leading clients to feel alienated in a space that is supposed to be supportive.

Why Therapists Need CNM Training: Bridging the Knowledge Gap

Traditional therapist education rarely covers relationship structures beyond monogamy. This leaves professionals unequipped to meet the needs of CNM clients effectively. The lack of comprehensive CNM training within formal education programs has prompted experts like Dr. Schechinger and the APA Task Force to call for industry-wide changes. They advocate for formalized guidelines that support inclusive and non-discriminatory practices in therapy.

One notable study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, found that approximately 4-5% of Americans engage in CNM relationships, a figure comparable to the LGBTQ+ population. Additionally, CNM is more prevalent within the LGBTQ+ community, highlighting the intersectional nature of relationship diversity. This data underscores the need for therapists to be well-versed in both CNM and its overlaps with other identities, such as gender and sexual orientation.

Educational initiatives, like Ann Russo’s Empowering Pathways Continuing Education Program, provide therapists with essential skills to navigate CNM dynamics. These programs focus on dismantling biases, understanding the different forms of CNM (including polyamory, open relationships, and relationship anarchy), and applying effective therapeutic interventions to help clients manage common issues like jealousy, communication struggles, and boundary-setting.

The Harm of Ill-Informed Therapy: Consequences for CNM Clients

Without proper training, therapists risk reinforcing negative stereotypes and doing more harm than good. Inadequate understanding of CNM can lead to therapists pathologizing non-monogamous relationships, even when clients are not experiencing distress related to their relationship structure. This not only isolates clients but can also discourage them from seeking further mental health support.

For example, a client in a polyamorous relationship may present with anxiety related to work, but an uninformed therapist might mistakenly focus on the relationship as the root cause, neglecting the actual issue. This is not uncommon; studies have shown that many therapists, due to a lack of CNM-specific education, interpret non-monogamous relationships through a monogamous lens, which can be detrimental to the therapeutic process.

Creating Inclusive Therapy Spaces Through Specialized CNM Training

Therapists who are committed to fostering inclusive, supportive environments for all clients must actively pursue CNM-specific continuing education. In the UK, mental health professionals have made significant strides by incorporating CNM training into their development programs, providing non-judgmental support to clients in non-monogamous relationships. Programs like Empowering Pathways, designed by experts in relationship diversity, offer:

  • Comprehensive education on CNM: Covering various relationship structures such as polyamory, open relationships, and relationship anarchy.
  • Bias reduction techniques: Helping therapists recognize and dismantle their preconceived notions about non-monogamy.
  • Therapeutic tools and strategies: Equipping therapists with practical interventions for managing common challenges in CNM relationships, such as jealousy and communication breakdowns.

By participating in these programs, therapists not only expand their professional skill sets but also ensure that clients feel seen, understood, and respected in their therapeutic journeys.

Advocating for CNM Recognition in Mental Health Practice

In the United States, Dr. Schechinger’s work with the APA Division 44 Task Force is a critical step toward advancing CNM awareness and competence in the mental health field. The Task Force, which includes researchers, health professionals, and educators, advocates for the development of formal APA guidelines and non-discrimination policies to ensure CNM clients receive competent and inclusive care. Their goal is to create an official framework that protects clients from biased, ill-informed therapy practices.

Currently, without such formal recognition, CNM clients often face a patchwork of support that varies widely depending on a therapist’s personal experience or interest in non-monogamy. Continuing education programs like Empowering Pathways fill this gap by providing therapists with the tools they need to better understand and support CNM clients in a meaningful and non-judgmental way.

Conclusion: Prioritizing CNM Education for Inclusive Client Care

As consensual non-monogamy becomes more visible and accepted, therapists must take proactive steps to stay informed and challenge their biases. Misunderstanding or ignoring CNM relationships can lead to harmful, stigmatizing practices that alienate clients rather than support them. Investing in CNM-specific training is crucial for mental health professionals who want to create truly inclusive, affirming therapy spaces.

If you’re ready to expand your therapeutic toolkit and provide better care for clients in non-monogamous relationships, consider enrolling in the Empowering Pathways Continuing Education Program. By deepening your understanding of CNM and learning how to apply this knowledge in practice, you can help shape a more inclusive therapeutic landscape where all clients feel heard and respected.

For more information and to subscribe for early access to upcoming courses, visit Empowering Pathways.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What is consensual non-monogamy (CNM)? CNM refers to relationships where individuals consensually engage in romantic or sexual connections with multiple partners. Examples include polyamory, open relationships, and swinging.

2. Why do therapists need specific training on CNM? Therapists need CNM training to understand the unique dynamics and challenges of non-monogamous relationships and to avoid reinforcing harmful stereotypes or biases that could damage the therapeutic relationship.

3. How does CNM overlap with the LGBTQ+ community? Research shows that CNM is more prevalent in LGBTQ+ communities, highlighting the importance of intersectional competence in therapy to address both relationship structure and sexual or gender identity.

4. What harm can untrained therapists cause to CNM clients? Untrained therapists may misinterpret non-monogamous relationships as inherently dysfunctional, pathologize healthy relationship dynamics, or fail to address the real issues clients are facing.

5. Are there formal guidelines for therapists working with CNM clients? Currently, there are no formal APA guidelines, but advocacy groups like the APA Division 44 Consensual Non-Monogamy Task Force are working toward developing them.

6. How can therapists improve their knowledge of CNM? Therapists can enroll in CNM-specific continuing education programs, such as Empowering Pathways, to learn how to provide more inclusive, affirming care for non-monogamous clients.