Have You Ever Been Told You Have to Choose Between Your Faith and Who You Truly Are? 🌈

For countless LGBTQIA+ individuals, religion isn’t just a source of spiritual guidance—it can also be a profound source of pain. When faith communities preach condemnation, enforce exclusion, or demand conformity to rigid gender and sexual norms, they often cultivate environments of guilt, rejection, and fear. Many of us are taught from a young age that our identities are sinful or inherently flawed. This isn’t just harmful; it can be life-altering. Studies show that LGBTQIA+ individuals raised in conservative religious settings experience significantly higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation—driven largely by rejection and the inner struggle to reconcile their faith with their identity.

I recently had the privilege of joining Jocelyn on the LezBeFriends podcast to shine a light on this painful reality. We didn’t shy away from the difficult conversations about the deep wounds inflicted by religious teachings—but we also focused on finding ways to challenge and heal those wounds. As a therapist with an AM in Theology, I bring both professional expertise and a deeply personal understanding of what it takes to navigate this journey. Together, Jocelyn and I explored how religious trauma reaches far beyond surface-level emotional pain; it cuts to the heart of a person’s self-worth, identity, and relationships.

Reclaiming Self-Worth and Challenging Harmful Beliefs

Take “Maria,” a composite client whose story reflects the experiences of so many I’ve encountered. Raised in a devout religious community, Maria was taught from an early age that her same-sex attraction made her sinful. She prayed constantly to change, to suppress who she was, and lived in a state of near-constant anxiety and fear of being discovered. It wasn’t until Maria began to question the teachings that had shaped her and sought support outside of her religious network that her healing began. In therapy, we worked to challenge the cognitive distortions she had internalized—helping her see that she was, and always had been, inherently worthy of love and acceptance.

Healing from religious trauma is, at its core, about reclaiming your true self. It often involves unlearning oppressive beliefs and creating new narratives that affirm who you are. During our conversation, Jocelyn and I discussed some of the strategies that can help, such as exposure therapy to address fears of divine punishment, cognitive restructuring to dismantle internalized messages of shame, and finding supportive community networks. Healing is hard work, but it’s possible—and no one has to walk this path alone.

Why This Matters for Our Community

The stakes are high. LGBTQIA+ individuals subjected to religious trauma are at an increased risk of developing PTSD, substance use disorders, and suicidal behavior. This is often compounded by isolation—especially for those who have left high-control religious groups, where approximately 28% report symptoms consistent with PTSD. Yet, there is hope. Healing often starts with breaking the silence and seeking support from communities that affirm and celebrate who you are.

On the podcast, Jocelyn and I spoke about the transformative power of finding new, supportive spaces. Whether through secular communities or LGBTQIA+ affirming faith groups, these connections can help individuals reconcile their spirituality and their true selves. “James,” another composite client, found healing by joining such a group. Through this community, he moved from fear-based beliefs to a new understanding of love and self-acceptance—an experience that changed his life.

Join Us on the LezBeFriends Podcast

If you’ve ever struggled to reconcile your identity with your faith—or felt rejected by the very community meant to uplift you—you’re not alone. This conversation is for you. It’s about breaking down isolation, finding paths to healing, and reclaiming your power and your story. You deserve to live fully and authentically, without shame or fear.

Listen to the LezBeFriends podcast to join us for a raw, real conversation that goes beyond pain and celebrates the possibility of healing and growth.

If you’re ready to begin or continue your own healing journey, I’m here for you. You can connect with me at annrusso.org. Don’t forget to check out the podcast!